Who Got Gunz
Memories of a Lone Soldier continue…
First time, ever I saw a gauge
Fat Joe (Gangstarr, We got Gunz)
Tonz of gunz, everybody’s getting strapped, tonz of gunz, better watch your fucking back
Guru (Gangstarr, Tonz of Gunz)
More rules of the game. Once again we gather in a het. We must place our water bottles parallel to our right boot, vertically, up and to the right a bit. If not, it’s matsav shtaim (literally Situation Two, figuratively a whole load of press ups). On this particular occasion, we are about to learn the ten golden rules for handling a gun. These, we are told, are rules written in blood. A fellow soldier, from Kazakhstan, is selected to read. A few hours previously, I had reminded him that the army was a game, and that the best way to get through it was to play by the rules. Here, he took matters into his own hands. In a tone of ultra-exaggerated enthusiasm, in which the Borat comparisons were hard to ignore, he began to plough his way through the Hebrew truisms. Our group descended into hysterical, uncontrollable laughter. Missing the point, our mefakedet [commander] asks why we are laughing at our fellow soldier. Together, we are made to perform matsav shtaim. And then we get guns. Read more
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