False Dichotomies

“Last week, to mark the start of the new university year, Israeli President Shimon Peres took a jaunt around the Hebrew University campus. While doing the rounds, as one does on these occasions, he found time for a meet and greet with various students, not all of whom were pleased to see him.

According to Haaretz, Ali Baher, the chairman of the Hebrew University’s Arab student body, refused to shake Peres’ hand. Moreover, he called him a “murderer of children”, presumably a reference to Peres’ role in the Qana deaths of 1996’s Operation Grapes of Wrath, in which 106 civilians were killed in shelling from Israeli artillery.” Read on at the Z-Word Blog.

Don Joe redefines the word charisma. By redefining charisma as being born in 1980 in a small village north of London, he claims to be the most charismatic man alive. Now successfully alive for 27 years, he has been writing ever since he learnt the alphabet. His first words, ‘cat’ and ‘mom’, were widely praised, broadly acclaimed and critically renowned.

After writing several other words, including ‘camel’ and ‘wingnut’, Joe was accepted at Oxford to read biology. After reading biology and other words, he beat the pants off of everyone else in his academic year, except Rebecca Smith. Don Joe then took up a PhD at Cambridge. His PhD thesis, read only by two bearded professors, did not receive the wide distribution he hoped for. However, he did become a Jewish doctor and that scores highly with the ladies.

Leaving science to become a corporate whore in LA, he has worked hard on making his accent even stronger, because that too scores highly with the ladies. He ought to get laid a lot more than he does. He’s not bitter though; not at all. As a cathartic backlash against the minutia of corporate America “What the f*** am I doing here? A guide to working for large corporations” has become his passion, obsession and several other fragrances. It represents a wry writer’s rants through the boardrooms, break-rooms and bathrooms of banal bureaus everywhere. Joe also has a delicious barbeque chicken pizza in the oven.

The easiest way to convince people you’re intelligent and well read is to add “And then there’s China” at the end of any conversation. Discussing world politics? And then there’s China. Aristotle, Nietzsche, Foucault? And then there’s China. The only occasion when this doesn’t work is if you’re already discussing China. Everyone has to have an opinion on China; it’s dinner party law.

Understanding Chinese culture isn’t that difficult; indeed the Buddhist philosophy that underlies a lot of Chinese customs and business isn’t so different from the Jewish traditions that underlie world banking, Hollywood and the bagel industry. For example, in Buddhism your family will be respected if you have a lama in your family. Furthermore, Buddhists often approach lamas with their health problems, treating them like doctors. Everyone knows Jews love doctors.

To save you from having to read Confucius, Lao Tze and Mencius, here are the basics of what you need to know to do business in China: Read more